This is a place for my (few) good thoughts about life, my life's work (a pastor), and other important (to me) things.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
Leading with a Limp
The whole idea of leading with a limp starts with a guy named Jacob. Before his birth, God had informed his father, Isaac, that his younger son, later named Jacob, was the chosen one, the one who would be the one to carry the seed of God’s promise to Abraham. A promise that out of Abraham’s seed would become the Redeemer, the Messiah, the Saviour of the world.
The first problem was that Isaac was not happy with God’s choice. The older brother, Esau, was Isaac’s favourite. The second problem was that Jacob’s mother, Rebekah, told him about God’s promise.
Jacob was a very talented guy. If his father was not going to make things go his way, he would do it himself, and so he set out to make things happen his way. He made sure he was favoured by his mother. He set out to get his birthright from his brother, and finding him at a moment of weakness and hunger, was successful. He quite skilfully tricked his father into giving him the blessing his father had intended for his brother.
He was very talented and able to succeed – but at a price. His father soon recognized that he had been betrayed, his brother vowed to kill him on sight, and in desperation he was forced to flee for his life.
Soon Jacob’s cleverness and skills have amassed him wealth, and a family. But it had also strained his relationship with his father-in-law. So, hanging around seemed like a bad idea, and he was once again on the run.
Only this time he has a real problem. One that all his giftedness and skills are not going to be able to fix. He learns that he will soon be meeting up with his brother. This time Jacob was not a situation out of which he was going to be able to finesse his way. His brother is coming with a group of men, and nothing Jacob is going to be able to say or do is going to make a difference.
Suddenly, and maybe for the first time in his life, all his gifts and talents are not going to get him out of this mess.
This is what the scriptures tell us in Genesus 32:7-12, 21, 24-31…
In great fear and distress Jacob divided the people who were with him into two groups, and the flocks and herds and camels as well. He thought, “If Esau comes and attacks one group, the group that is left may escape.”
Then Jacob prayed, “O God of my father Abraham, God of my father Isaac, O LORD, who said to me, ‘Go back to your country and your relatives, and I will make you prosper,’ I am unworthy of all the kindness and faithfulness you have shown your servant. I had only my staff when I crossed this Jordan, but now I have become two groups. Save me, I pray, from the hand of my brother Esau, for I am afraid he will come and attack me, and also the mothers with their children. But you have said, ‘I will surely make you prosper and will make your descendants like the sand of the sea, which cannot be counted.’” …
So Jacob's gifts went on ahead of him, but he himself spent the night in the camp… So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him till daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled with the man. Then the man said, “Let me go, for it is daybreak.” But Jacob replied, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” The man asked him, “What is your name?” “Jacob,” he answered. Then the man said, “Your name will no longer be Jacob, but Israel, because you have struggled with God and with men and have overcome.” Jacob said, “Please tell me your name.” But he replied, “Why do you ask my name?” Then he blessed him there. So Jacob called the place Peniel, saying, “It is because I saw God face to face, and yet my life was spared.”1The sun rose above him as he passed Peniel, and he was limping because of his hip.
Jacob is a different man at this point. It isn’t that his gifts and abilities have been diminished. Rather, his gifts and God-given abilities are now under the control and influence of God. Jacob is now a leader who has learned to lead with a limp.
Every once in a while we come across talented leaders who have learned that they can pretty well get by on the strength of their personality or the quality of their skills. They are good leaders, are often seen as highly successful, and are almost always loved by the people around them. But under the surface it soon becomes evident that the successes and the accolades come out of their personal efforts. These leaders tend to have little to no resources to handle the tough times in leadership. And when their own efforts fail or don’t meet their expectations, because they have not learned to lead in the power of Christ in them, they either blame others or become bitter and angry at the unfairness of the world.
Leaders who lead with a limp tend to see all of life’s leadership experiences as God’s hand at work. The successes are as a result of God’s grace, and the failures as God’s teaching them to be better leaders. They tend to understand that their own efforts, apart from God, will never quite be enough. And through it all, there is this ability to see God at work in them, adding to and enhancing their own God-given gifts and skills. And making them great leaders – though, they are leading with a limp.
Friday, November 20, 2009
When leading means not leading
That day began shaping my life and thinking. And I have tried to be a good leader ever since. But now I am asking myself if leadership is always defined as leading?
I have been thinking a bit lately about when it is appropriate as a leader to not lead. When it might be the very best form of leadership to not be the leader or not even help leadership to happen. Seems like a bit of a contradiction in terms and ideas, but I am coming to realize that there are times when the best form of leadership is deciding to just step back and let something that one could lead continue leaderless. The natural inclination of a leader is to see a situation and see the holes in the leadership of that situation and step in to fill those holes. But there are times when the health and future of a group or an organization is such that it is better to not provide leadership and just let it go its merry way, even if that means letting it die.
The problem with that is that the very act of doing noting in the context of a leadership vacuum is like telling yourself to feel free to breath when you know that your face is under water. (A moment I had to deal with a few years ago when I took scuba lessons.) Even though you know it is the right thing to do, it goes against every fiber of your being.
But God is teaching me that sometimes I do have to just sit back and let Him lead, even if it looks like the lack of leadership might lead to the death of a group or an organization. Suddenly I realize that doing nothing, if that is God's will, is in fact leading.
I am quitting now as I think I am developing a leadership headache!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
What a leader does
So the next few posts will probably be along this line.
First, Leaders Communicate.
I suspect that we all have unique thoughts, and probably many of us ask ourselves tough questions at times. But what makes a leader different is that a leader is committed to communicating those thoughts and questions to others. A leader somehow believes that there is room in other peoples minds and lives and hearts for the leaders thoughts and questions too.
I am not sure if that is arrogance, or confidence, or just a deep seated desire to get what is going on in their head into other's heads.
Whatever the motive, without communication, leadership simply is not possible.
The real questions we who would like to lead must ask then are, "How do I communicate to others?" and "How well do I communicate?" and "Could I be a better leader if I could communicate more effectively?"
Worth thinking about I suspect.
Wednesday, July 23, 2008
Change - the Good, the Bad and the Ugly
But life has been forcing some changes on me and it has got me to thinking.
- One of our team decided to move on and fulfill a lifelong dream. I am so happy for him, but it causes some changes in the way that our team functions.
- Both of our office's administrative assistants have decided to move on this summer. One to be a wonderful mother, and the other to take on a role that will truly impact a lot of college kids lives. Great for them, but a real change for the way our office functions and the way I will work.
- We are between offices and so will lose a personal office for the next year or two till our new offices are built. Not a big deal, but still some of the ways that things will be different.
- On the personal front our family is beginning to deal with my daughter going off to college this fall, about 350 Km (200 miles) from home. Will change the nature of how the house functions - for sure!
- My dad has had a bad turn physically due to his Parkinsons, and is in the Hospital and will move from there to long term care. That in turn will mean a move for my mother to a smaller and more affordable place. Big change on that front.
Don't get me wrong, this is not a complaining process. But it is a chance for me to experience some of the realities of change. You see, my life has been about bringing about change - in individuals, in teams, in congregations. What I so often forget is that change is not a comfortable kind of thing. It is most uncomfortable, painful even at times. Yet it is a most necessary part of life and growth and health, as individuals, as teams, as families and as groups such as a congregation.
The real pain of change, if we are honest, is not the circumstances of the change as much as the way we are willing to think about, and process the change. The first question in all of our minds is how the change will impact and cause discomfort to me. Makes Paul's words calling us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds make a whole lot of sense.
So, as I am taking some vacation time this month, what I am most hoping for, is that God will work on transforming my mind around all the changes that he is throwing my way. He must have a great plan in His mind, it is just my task to allow Him to work on my mind.
It just may be a GREAT summer!
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Church effectiveness part 2
While that works with machines, it doesn't work with a living organism. In a living organism, you have to take into account the whole. The church is a living organism and it is a dangerous process to think that we can 'fix' something that we think is broken or not up to par and assume that the whole will be better. In relationship-based and living organisms, which the church is, health and effectiveness is measured not in how well oiled and smooth running things are, but in how they are doing at accomplishing their purpose.
A plant is desirable and effective as long as it is showing growth, able to or preparing to reproduce, and is contributing to the wider system. What would happen if we thought about churches from that perspective? What would it change in the way we saw them or evaluated them.
More on this later, I think.
Thursday, January 04, 2007
Effectiveness and the Church
The question I am asking at this moment is how I go about helping congregations define effectiveness?
Is effectiveness about some illusive "spiritual maturity" or is it about some form of growth (growth in weekend worship attendance, number of people who claim 'salvation', number of people who get baptized) or some other measure.
The CMA in Western Canada has chosen the measure of people who get baptized. The logic is that baptism is a very public measure of a person's inner commitment and one of the only really truly measurable spiritual growth or spiritual commitment indicators.
True it would be nice if we could get indicators from people's bosses or spouses or family members as to how their walk with Christ has impacted their life, but that is not practical. Baptism on the other hand is a way that a private inner commitment between a person and God is made public and a way that a person seeks both affirmation and accountability for their own spiritual walk.
My task is to help congregations and their leadership seek to discover ways to effectively lead people to a point of being willing to and wanting to make a public commitment to their personal spiritual walk and formation. Because baptism is not a part of congregational membership per-say, baptism is truly a way to make a public statement of personal faith.
So, what makes a church effective? And what needs to happen to become effective.
When I can nail those concepts down in a congregation, then great strides can be made towards being a church that is truly living out the great commission.
Hmmm...
Tuesday, August 22, 2006
This is a test of Google's new online word processor called writely. It is still in Beta, so who knows. However, it is an online word processor that can upload and save to a veriety of file formats. Interesting.
As well, it is supposed to be able to publish to a Blog. So that is what I am trying.
Who knows!!
ken
Monday, August 14, 2006
Life's Changes
My Doctoral work left me with a strong sense of what I wanted to be as a leader and the limitations of my ability to live that out in my present situation. I am told that this is a very common occurance.
So I began to ask God is there was somethign in His mind for me. Stay and keep on doing what I was doing? Stay and make changes that would create turmoil? Go elsewhere? What!!!???
Then last january during a study week I realized that i had no real vision for my preaching or for the church for the fall. That had never happened before and I began to realize that God was prompting me.
For a while I thought that God was leading me to be the state Pastor for Kansas and the Oklahama Panhandle. And while I would have loved that, I began to realize that I was a bit more radical than the leadership there was ready to handle. So that door closed.
At the same time I went ahead and resigned from my senior pastor role.
What followed was a couple months of real faith testing. We ended up selling our house and going for July without a house or a job and just a lot of faith.
Then I got a call from Western Canada. The Western Canadian District of the Christian and Missinory Alliance Church was looking for a Church Effectivness Coach. The 110 congregations of the Alberta Alliance Church are coached by three guys, whose task in to encourage, support, mentor and care for the churches in an effort to help them be effective.
The invited me to talk to them and when I did I felt that this was a job that was written for me. It was a difficult choice to move from the Church of God! Though in a larger sense I guess I really didn't. I get to keep my Church of God (Anderson) credentials as an Ecumenical (sp?) pastor, which is both cool and shows a great deal of spiritual maturity in the Alliance church.
So, Tuesday, August 15th, I start my new job. I am living in Alberta Canada, and will move into a house in Cochrane Alberta, a town of about 12,000 just west of Calgary, Alberta, and work out of an office in downtown Calgary.
The cool thing is that most of my family and my wife's family live near ehre, so it is both a new beginning and a kind of homecoming. And that is cool!
That's life at the moment!
Ken
Tuesday, August 16, 2005
How different?
How has this changed me? A lot in some ways and not at all in others. This process has forced me to be more serious about my ministry and my call than I have ever been before. I was forced to take a very hard and personal look at what it means to be a leader and what it means to be both committed to lead something like a church or any group for that matter and at the same time to be led by and have the heart and mind of Christ. I have found that to do that I must have Christ' passion for people, while being highly aware of how to lead this organization in a healthy and godly manner. I am, I admit, much less tollerant of church leaders who seem to be coasting or whose passion seems to be gone. All the while I feel a deeper passion for people, for their spiritual state and for their soul. So, yes this has changed me.
Second question, will this cause me to have a personal life crisis? Probably. Not in the sense of me doing something stupid, but I can find less reason in my own life to not want the best service to God from myself and those around me.
At the same time, I am really no different at all! A title doesn't change us, it is the experience that changes us. It is now my task to make my experience mean something in the course of my life and minsitry. And in that, comes the real challange.
hmmm.....
Tuesday, May 31, 2005
Feeling different?
While I am sure that the process has changed me, the degree hasn't. I started this process becasue I wanted to grow in my faith, my knowledge, and my ability to be the best leader that God wanted me to be. There was never a desire to be somehow seen as now 'more' than I was before becasue I have a title.
I keep telling people that I am still Ken, and not Dr. DeMaere. If first names were good enough for Paul and Jesus, first names are good enough for me. I ahev many times said that the four most important titles I carry are husband, father, friend, and Pastor. I intend to spend the rest of my life living up to those four titles, I don't need too many more. My plate is pretty full with those.
Have a good and safe and close to God week!
Tuesday, May 24, 2005
The process of writing...
I read something over 300 books, both secualr and religious on leadership. The four that stand out in my mind are...
Courageous Leadership by Hybels
Visioneering by Andy Stanley
Spiritual leadership by Oswald Sanders and
Spiritual leadership by Blackaby...
and hopefully someday
Restoring Church Leadership (to the principles of the Bible) by DeMaere :-)
ken
Monday, May 23, 2005
Doctorate
I am particulairly hard, I admit, on Maxwell, and particulairly hard on his book "The 21 Irrifutable Laws of Leadership" where I believe that more than half of those laws are absoloutly refuted by the life and ministry and teachings of Jesus. maxwell clearly states that Leadership is Leadership and leadership principles work in every and any situation. Wrong. Nada. Not true.
The result of that is an effort on my part to give a process whereby a church leader can look at a leadership idea, principle or process and determine if it is in line with the values and teaching of the scriptures.
OK, wake up now, I am done. :-)
Tuesday, May 17, 2005
Back in the routine
As exciting as graduating was, it really doesn't change the process of every day life. The Dean of the seminary told us that as Doctors we might be asked to give prescriptions, and he suggested that the only one we dare give might be "read two Psalms and call me in the morning."
So, what did this strenuous process actually do for me? In wish that I could name a bunch of concrete things, but more than anything else it has given me a greater sense of confidence in my ability to do the tough
Painful realization. I had a professor once who had two doctorates and who told us that when he graduated from High School, he knew that he knew about 90% of all there was to know. After his BA, he realized that he only knew about 60%. After his masters he realized that he only knew 30% and after his first doctorate he realized that he only knew 10% of what there was to now. So in a quest for greater knowledge he pursued a second doctorate. However upon that achievement he realized that he only know about 1% of all there was to know, and he decided to give up the educational process before he ended up a blithering idiot.
Well, I don’t want to be a blithering idiot, but at the same time I don’t feel like I have achieved any sort of higher plane. People do listen more I think, but I am not sure I have anything more significant to say than I ever did, so I find myself speaking less.
Hmmm.
Tuesday, May 10, 2005
First Thoughts
As I have started a kind of new phase in my life, I decided that this is a good time to start my blog site.
After a 4 year journey, this last weekend I received my Doctorate Degree. It was a great experience. However I am not sure that I know how I am supposed to feel right now. I think that it is supposed to be some kind of utopiam joy. Instead it is a kind of relief. I can see why so many doctorial candidates do not finish their disseratation, as it is such a load of work.
I don't feel any smarter, that is for sure.
I do feel like I am more sure of who and what I am, and what I am not, however.
I also have a new appreciation for writers and what they go through to write well! Whew!
Thanks for being a part of my journey.
Ken